There are quotes that inspire you, help you when you feel down and out, and act as a driving force to help you strike back at your problem with a vengeance. And then there are quotes which have the same effect of inspiring us, but in completely different ways - they make us thank God that at least we're not that dumb.
Yes, sometimes it's astonishing what people can say on camera, without thinking twice (or even once for that matter). I have quoted a few of these 'golden words' (read celebrity stupid quotes), that really shouldn't be repeated for the general good of humanity.
Politicians are just as famous for their well rehearsed and practiced speeches, as they are for their slip-ups when they need to speak without the luxury of a speech writer. Thus, their funniest and often inadvertent, but undoubtedly hilarious quotes are those that are said at press conferences and interviews. Given below is a list of political faux pas that will leave you in splits.
Being Politically (In)correct
How's it going, Sunshine? - Barack Obama, President of the United States, at Sunrise, Florida
I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that's the America millions of Americans believe in. That's the America I love. - Mitt Romney
Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again. - Barbara Boxer, Senator
I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that. - Bill Clinton, former U.S. President
We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe. - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago. - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
It's time for the human race to enter the solar system! - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur. - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally. - Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister
I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity. - Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
And now, will y'all stand and be recognized. - Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House, to a group of people in wheelchairs on Disability Day
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle, former French President
I'm someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch. - Bill Clinton, former U.S. President
Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway. - Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane
I didn't realize I was in a Buddhist temple. - Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President when asked about his illegal fundraising activities that took place in a Buddhist temple
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything. - Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding. - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas. - Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
If you're living in an area with a bad school, move to a place where there's a better school. - Lamar Alexander, former Secretary of Education, explaining his ideas on what parents of children who attend poorly funded urban or rural schools should do to solve the problem
I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly under-polluted. - Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries
If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate. - Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post. - Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
Hit or Miss?
Sportsmen were never particularly well-known for their intellect. So barring a few rare sports personalities, most sports icons end up saying the silliest things before the camera. And not ones to be left behind, sports commentators are rivaling so with sportsmen to aid the cause of stupid quotes by celebrities (and it doesn't help that most of their commentary is live).
Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl. - Bill Peterson, football coach
You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours. - Yogi Berra, former American Major League Baseball player
Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious. - Alan Minter, Boxer
Okay, everyone, now inhale... and then dehale! - Maury Wills, Los Angeles Dodgers captain, leading his teammates through warm-up calisthenics
We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought. - Bobby Robson, after the 1990 World Cup Finals match against Cameroon
You guys have to run a little more than full speed out there. - Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
It's only puffy when it's swollen. - Charlie Hough, Baseball player, talking about his broken finger
My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. - Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, telling Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice
Better make it six, I can't eat eight. - Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher, when a waitress asked whether he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices
And now the sequence of events, in no particular order. - Dan Rather, television news anchor
Half this game is ninety percent mental. - Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager
And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago. - David Coleman, Sports commentator
The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing. - Dizzy Dean explaining to the media how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series
Our strength is that we don't have any weaknesses. Our weakness is that we don't have any real strengths. - Frank Broyles, College football coach
Boxing's all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds. - Frank Bruno, Boxer
For most people, death comes at the end of their lives. - GLR broadcaster, UK
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman, Golfer
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. - Jason Kidd upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl. - Joe Jacoby, NFL Football player, of the Washington Redskins
To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too. - Matt Millen, NFL Football player, of the Raiders
In a sense it's a one-man show... except there are two men involved, Hartson and Berkovic, and a third man, the goalkeeper. - John Motson, BBC1
I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad. - Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player
He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is. - Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota
I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing, if the price is right. - Marlon Starling
Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding. - Mickey Rivers, baseball player
We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite. - Murray Walker, Sportscaster
That's just the tip of the ice cube. - Neil Hamilton, BBC2
Guys aren't able to get $15 or $20 million anymore, so you have to play for the love of the game. - Penny Hardaway, NBA Basketball Player
The FA are still optimistic about England's bid to stage the World Cup in twenty thousand and six. - Peter Snow, BBC2 anchorman
I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes. - Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to. - Shaquille O'Neal, basketball player, on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece
I don't think we learned a lesson; I think it was a learning experience for us. - Shaquille O'Neal, basketball player, after game 4 of the 2001 NBA finals, on being asked by NBC reporter Jim Gray if LA had learned a lesson from what happened the previous year in Indiana
I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer
I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians. - Tommy Lasorda, former Dodger manager on World Cup soccer tournament
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
Predictions are difficult. Especially about the future. - Yogi Berra, Baseball player
Lights, Camera, Errrr....
Beauty and brains is a rare enough combination, but when it comes to Hollywood and the music industry, it's still rarer. Most celebrities, without the scripts in their hand, may end saying funny things, which are actually good enough to make it to the next Woody Allen movie. So read on to find out what was the stupidest thing said by your favorite celebrity:
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness. - Alicia Silverstone, Actress
Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff. - Mariah Carey, Pop Singer
I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada - Britney Spears, Pop Singer
I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid. - Paris Hilton
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. - Dick Cavett, former talk show host
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel, actor and comedian
I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista, Supermodel
So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? - Christina Aguilera
Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Madonna
I say no to drugs, but they don't listen. - Marilyn Manson, Singer
I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. - Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss Universe contest, when asked if she would want to live forever
Every city I go to is an opportunity to paint, whether it's Omaha or Hawaii. - Tony Bennett, Singer
I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa. - Britney Spears
George W. Bush - We Rest our Case
Leaving the best for the last, let's face it! This list simply isn't complete without the dumb doses from our very own Dumbyaman... Oops, I mean Dubyaman. Yes, the ex-President, at the end of his Presidency, said that he was extremely relieved to not be the President anymore. Well, you know what? He wasn't the only one! Read this famous list of Bushisms to see why our 43rd President was the favorite punching bag of comedians all over the world:
They misunderestimated me.
This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve. - said during 'Perseverance Month'
It is white. - when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London
I think it's very important for the American president to mean what he says. That's why I understand that the enemy could misread what I say. That's why I try to be as clearly as I can.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right.
You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.
Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.
I think we're making progress. We understand where the power of this country lay. It lies in the hearts and souls of Americans. It must lay in our pocketbooks. It lies in the willingness for people to work hard. But as importantly, it lies in the fact that we've got citizens from all walks of life, all political parties, that are willing to say, I want to love my neighbor. I want to make somebody's life just a little bit better.
I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically.
The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants.
I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.
Put the 'off' button on.
I think war is a dangerous place.
I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them.
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
So this was your, well, not daily, but a lifetime's dose of stupid quotes. After reading these, the next time you sit down to pray, do thank the Lord, for blessing you with the cognitive ability of knowing what to say, but more importantly knowing what not to say. Amen!